Welcome to the first ever Guest Scribble.

Nellie made this one while she was a-visiting, to describe her coffee machine without using a lot of funny arm movements. (Then I made a mockery of it by drawing the little burdie. The word “bird” will never be the same after that last eels album.)

Big American coffee franchises have been plundering the recreational coffee scene here. Having only recently become a coffee drinker, I suspect I may be unqualified to judge the basic product on offer, though I do appreciate the novelty fun variety: the ice-crushed, chocolate-addled, sprinkle-topped specimen. Only 18 more to go on my frequent drinkers card until I get a free one!

Is it unsophisticated to order a mocha? Is it utterly cosmopolitan to request a macchiato? These caffeine quandries can be avoided by seeking out the most ludicrous frozen coffee beverage. Oreo crumbs? Yes please. Fake cherry flavour? Sure! Aerosol whipped cream? Well, duh! It’s on the photo innit?

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before i had a “blog”, i used to write a sporadically updated letter on the front page of my website. this is one of them. i am consolidating it into these archives, because i can.