it’s just that hamburgers should come with a slice of beetroot tucked into that greasy crevice between bun and meat patty. you shouldn’t even have to ask. the tang of the presliced-and-vinegared-in-a-can variety does wonders by lifting the overall stodginess of the burger, but when you patronise a slightly better burger place, say, burgerman, they put in a slice of crinkle-cut fresh beetroot, and burger-enjoyment goes up a notch or four (and if they also put in real horseradish mayonnaise… well!).

but today at lunchtime, when it seemed like it might actually stop raining for more than ten minutes — the first time in like, five days — i walked up the street to the local fried food place, and ordered a hamburger with beetroot please, just to be sure, and when i got it home and bit into it, there was no beetroot there.

that is all.