why oh why oh why am i stuck on a department store escalator with people standing both on the left side and the right side of the step, denying me overtaking privileges? why has the volume of said people tripled in the last two hours? why do they all smell slightly sour?

could it be that i, who don’t do christmas shoping, last minute christmas shoping, am participating in this most diabolical of year-end traditions? ummmm… yes.

fueled only by a just-bought package of braune lebkuchen mit früchten und schokoladeboden, and a small bag of mcdonald’s fries i got free with the coupon they gave me the last time i gave blood (now there’s an incentive to rock up to the red cross with elbow pit bared), i’ve been riding escalators between floors for ohhh… three hours, trying to find the most classy photo album for ‘a reasonable price’. why is it the cheaper the album, the shinier it is?