after a couple of months of watching heidi klum flog yoghurt gummies on tv, i finally tracked down a bag in kmart. the ad is tantalising: a supermodel looking all soft, pink and bendy, as though she could be a yoghurt gummy herself, swanning around her living room, falling into comfy chairs, eating candy. apparently, it’s healthy.

the bag says: yogurt gums. soft yogurt confectionery. with real fruit juice. no artificial colours. 99% fat free. less kilojoules than many other treats.

still, the first ingredient listed is sugar, followed closely (in second place) by glucose syrup. and because i’m sitting here (dressed rather fetchingly in the singlet and boxer shorts i slept in, and with my hair in a messy pony tail — oh yes, i feel exactly like heidi klum in the ad) eating them from the bag, my throat has that tight gaggy feeling from eating too much sweet all at once, and my stomach feels raw and empty.

i shall stop eating them now. for now. the yoghurty tang is most compelling, and the pear-flavoured gummy tastes just like a real pear.

[ i also found, in kmart, peach yoghurt chupachups, but perhaps that is a story for another day. ]

but the yoghurt bounty continues. trawling the aisles of another supermarket on sunday, i found biore with yoghurt extract. i’m not sure exactly what the yoghurt does in the facewash, and the packaging blurb doesn’t go into such detail; maybe they don’t know either. maybe it is just a cunning plan to sell facewash.

the thing is, a girl needs to wash her face when she’s in singapore, all hot and sticky. yes! here i am!